Please say hello to today’s guest blogger Viviana MacKade. Today Viviana is posting about reviews. Welcome, Viviana!
I wrote this article a couple of years ago, mostly out of frustration at the whole review world. And that was it.
But then, last week, I saw a book review. Loosely quote: “I don’t understand how nobody caught how bad the writing was. Someone should tell the author you simply cannot write in the first person and in the past tense. I’m just happy I only paid 99 cents for it.” 1star.
Someone should ask this lady how she manages to recount what she did, I dunno, yesterday, to her friends.
By itself, it is a stupid thing that hopefully if laughed away by any – ANY- other person. But that 1 star goes so much further.
And I decided to brush off what I wrote.
Here it is. I hope you enjoy it.
Why I don’t write 3star or less reviews on Amazon.
Not all reviews are made equal, and not all reviews are fair.
Let’s say you buy a toaster.
It works, all good, you give it 5star.
It doesn’t work, 1star.
In between, there’s how well it cooks bread on both sides, how easy it is to clean, to use. All those things, though, can be judged in a fairly impartial way, on a works/doesn’t work scale. There’s little left to personal interpretation in a burned slice of bread you had set the timer at 2 minutes for.
How does that relate to books reviews?
It does by contrast, because books reviews gravitate in the opposite realm: writing, like all other forms of art, is strictly personal. The works/doesn’t work rule hardly applies.
There are wrongs, sure, but the line is subtle, grey, and often based on the (over-inflated) ego of the reviewer.
Let’s take grammar.
Some things are plain wrong. Just wrong. But with so many types of English out there (US, UK, Australia, India, New Zealand) which are all correct in their own variations, a different phrasing might end up being considered wrong.
Would an Australian author deserve a 1star review from an Indian reader because, in each country, that concept or thought is written differently? To me, it’s a hard no.
On top of it, a lot of what goes into a review is a matter of personal taste.
Overthinking characters. Domineering Hero. Vaguely silly Heroine. Violence. A lot of action. A little action. Explicit sex or closed doors. Unclear settings. All the above, and so much more, can be capital sins to a reader and shruggable details to another.
Does the Author deserve a 1star review for any of the mentioned scenarios?
Debatable.
Personally, being both a writer and a reader, the golden rule is clarity, so as long as things (settings, actions, and characters) are clear, I’m good–if I like the story.
There’s truth in the fact that many 1star reviews mean something is not working in the story, and for sure readers are entitled to their opinion. It’s what art is about, as I said. It’s personal. Authors know the game.
The problem is another, and it doesn’t touch book reviews only.
Have you ever spent some time reading all the negative reviews of a product, any product?
If you have, you’re bound to have met some stupidity.
I kid you not, following are some of the reviews I found –
About a pair of shoes: “I ordered the wrong size”. 1 star.
About a set of children’s painting set that had a different choice of pre-set colors. “I wanted to order the other set of colors.” 1 star.
About an erotic novel: “There was too much sex, it was offensive.” 1 star.
About an adventure book: “I don’t like the cover.” 1 star.
Sadly, I could go on.
Again, it would all be good and well because if I’m interested in buying a product, it’s not that kind of review that makes me question it. It may crack the faith I have in human intelligence, but it would not stand against the product.
Back in the books market, though, such reviews do more damage than that.
To promote your book on websites with huge newsletters, those that assure the book decent exposure, you need to have an average of ten 4star reviews for a newly released title.
So that little 1star, idiotic review any functioning brain would discard within 10 seconds, actually does a lot of damage. Math, being the merciless bit&h it is, states clearly that it takes more than one 5star review to take up the average of one 1star.
That author will be refused from those websites, will not advertise a book that maybe has merits, and make no money.
Yes, the problem is the system, is bonding advertising to something as fickle as people’s judgment, but as this topic would require a blog post all on its own, I’ll leave it at that.
So, to put it all together, being this a world where one can say what one thinks, I will certainly review books and publish reviews with less than 3 stars.
On my blog, on someone else’s blog, websites, and so on. Not on Amazon.
I’ll never publish a less than 3 stars review on Amazon, unless I see there are so many positive reviews (I’m thinking numbers in the hundreds) where my review will not impact that author’s chance to advertise his or her work.
An author, especially one fighting for reviews like indies or newbies do, has a lot to lose from a review I write that might be tainted by my own ignorance, not the Author’s.
And for what people think is okay to write in those reviews, I’ll leave it for another fight.
Valkyrie Love
Valkyrie love never comes easy.
Brenna left Asgard with a curse on her name and a broken heart.
A Valkyrie now free and independent, for millennia her life had been great. Just great.
Then a bleeding Elf knocks at her door holding a baby.
Alexander Reed left the Marines and lost the wheel of his life.
A soldier without a worthy fight, he became everything he despised.
Until he ends up in the wrong backyard at the wrong time.
Fljóða, Queen of the Light Elves and last of her lineage, is an infant with a death sentence on her head.
Hunted by the Night Elves, her survival brings Brenna and Reed together for the ultimate mission: take the little Queen to safety in the Vanaheim Realm, deep in the Roots of Yggdrasil.
Not simple, but straightforward.
Or so it seemed.
Between flaming giants, demons, and an army of Half Breed determined to kill the Queen and conquer all the Elvin Realms, Brenna and Reed will have to face their inner monsters.
Monsters appearing in the form of feelings neither want but cannot control.
Link:
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Author Bio
Beach bum and country music addicted, Viviana lives in a small Floridian town with her die-hard fans and personal cheer squad: her husband, her son, and her daughter. She spends her days between typing on her beloved keyboard, playing in the pool with her babies, and eating whatever her husband puts on her plate (the guy is that good, and she really loves eating). Besides beaching, she enjoys long walks, horse-riding, hiking, and pretty much whatever she can do outside with her family.
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Excerpt:
Reed rested his elbows on his knees, observed his scarred hands before zeroing his quiet, blue-green eyes to her. “What am I doing here, Brenna?”
“She saw you in a vision.”
“Mae?”
“Yes. Elves have that ability. She saw you and me in Vanaheim, cheering for victory.”
“So, I’m destined for something? Because visions and destiny can kiss my – you know what. I’m done having people making choices for me.” Soft, slow, his words held iron and steel, an unbreakable will. “I choose for me.”
Brenna chuckled. “You can relax, Alexander Reed. Visions are not what’s necessarily going to happen. It’s not a prophecy. They are one of the millions of possibilities. If you decide to come, if you survive the journey to the Vanaheim, if we do everything that specific vision requires, then there’s a chance for us to end up becoming the vision.”
“Better.” Then he frowned. “What do you mean, if I survive? What about you?” He stopped. “Wait a second, what are you?”
Brenna could be selling him some crap, or at least try to. What would the point in doing as much be? This man, a stranger, was way in already, she might as well come clean. “I’m of the Aesir people.”
“Why is the name familiar?”
“Because the realm I come from is Asgard.”
She saw the moment where realization dawned on him. Very few knew about Vanaheim, or Muspelheim, the land of the fire giants. Many, many people thought they knew about Asgard–thank you, Hollywood. His eyes grew huge, and he ran a hand over his messy short hair. “Shit.”
Because there was something deeply comic in the way he took that news after all he’d learned, she tilted her head and dealt the final blow. “I’m a Valkyrie.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
Brenna burst into laughter. “I will not,” she said when she could speak again.
He kept looking at her, up and down, like she came from another planet. Well, okay. She did. But so did Maeraggyth, and he didn’t get a seizure for it.
“You are a goddess,” he finally said.
“No, I’m not. We served Odin and Freyja, who are Gods, but we were not goddesses ourselves. Strictly talking.” Brenna shook off the uncomfortable feeling her past always gave her and readdressed the topic. “Reed, is it? No Alexander, no Alex. Sandy?”
“Reed.”
“Well, Reed, nice to meet you and welcome into the mess that’s Yggdrasil. Are you hungry?”
“I am.”
Without a second thought or hesitation, Brenna headed to the door. “Then come,” she told him. “We’ll eat and talk more later.”
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Thank you so much for having me!
Thank you for being a guest, Vivi!